My friend, Tom

Sherry Wallingford phoned me this morning (Saturday, October 04, 2008), and informed me that Tom had died.  Not only was I shocked, I was overwhelmed with grief for Sherry, their whole family and me.

When I asked if I could do anything, Sherry said, “Please let our friends on Useppa know.”  I started to make phone calls, but I was so choked up that it was difficult for me to relay the message to our good friends.

When I spoke to Ginny Amsler, she had already heard the sad news, and she recalled Tom’s comment to her on the beach as he looked back at Useppa Island, “What’s this Island going to be like when my good friends are gone?”

Tom, my good friend, the roles are reversed and we miss you so.

As the day progressed, I began thinking of my fun times with Tom.  How many oysters can you eat without flipping your cookies?  As I was about to address a putt at Gasparilla, Tom would whisper, “You’ll probably make that putt.”  And when I stopped to look at him, there was that special Tom Wallingford smile.

I’ve seen that smile in Russia on the Ponoi River as he hooked into a big Atlantic salmon.  I saw it in Buenos Aries on the way to Tierra del Fuego to fish for sea run brown trout.  I saw it aboard Chris Klingel’s fishing boat when I caught my first tarpon on a fly.  And I saw it every time we were together with Bongo, another best buddy.

The good times are what are important—especially now.  The quality time I was able to spend with Tom whether overseas fishing or in his boat going to Gasparilla was very special.

I’ll never forget our last trip to Russia.  We had a blast.  Tom was the last to board the huge Russian helicopter for the two hour flight from the Ponoi base camp to Murmansk.  Tom was the last to board because he was saying goodbye to everyone and mentioning what a great time we had and saying thanks for making the trip so special.  More of that special Tom smile which everyone loved.  Well, the final call was made and Tom finally got on board.  Our trip in that huge Russian cargo helicopter with steel benches along the sides had no toilet.  Guess who was so busy saying goodbye that he—yep, forgot to visit the nearest bush.  Two hours without relief can be agony; however, resourceful Tom found someone’s boot in the pile of luggage and that Wallingford smile returned.

Another memorable day was when I was invited to join Tom and Chris Klingel to fly fish for tarpon.  We were off the beach north of the pass at Boca Grande.  Tom made a perfect cast; the tarpon hit the fly, and some how it flew out.  I was next and made an awful cast, but as I was reeling in to try again, guess what?  A hundred pounder hit it near the boat and an hour and seventeen minutes later, it was back along side.  My first tarpon on a fly. Well, during that period of time Chris and Tom had a ball giving me advice, offering to take over and help their older friend, etc.  And all the time, there was that Wallingford smile.

Fortunately, I’ll be able to remember lots of quality time with Tom.  One of the nice things about our relationship was that if we didn’t see or speak with each other for months, when we finally got together it was as if there had been no interlude.  That’s a special friendship.

The Island will change when friends are gone.  It’s changed for me since Harry Shaw, Dudley Kircher and now Tom Wallingford are gone—but not those really special memories that I’ll have forever.  I love you guys.

Your friend,

Peter (Bergsten)

FAMILY PHOTOS

Thomas Connelly Wallingford

Thomas Connelly Wallingford died in an accident on October 3rd doing what he loved to do. Thomas was born April 2, 1941, to Claire Connelly Wallingford and Earle Goodloe Wallingford. He attended Lake Forest College and UMKC School of Law. In 1963 he met and married Sherrard Bunting. After a series of business ventures he started his own real estate business in 1975. Tom was an avid fisherman and hunter and traveled the world to fulfill his passion. He went to the far reaches of the world and had many amazing experiences. Tom was not only an avid outdoorsman but he was adored by his family. He leaves his wife Sherry of 45 years. Sherry and Tom had such a rare love for each other. They adored one another and were the best of friends. Tom also leaves his four children, Lisa Grabowsky, Sarah Wallingford, Annie Manion, and Tom Wallingford, Jr. Tom's most precious legacy, however, are his nine beloved grandchildren. They all lovingly refer to him as "Papa." Bobby Grabowsky, his oldest grandson, was his frequent hunting buddy. They had a true special bond. Then there are his six granddaughters, Annie and Katherine Grabowsky, Lucy and Molly Gasal, and Lily and Josie Manion. He loved to spend time with them also, drama and all. David and Harry Gasal are his two youngest grandsons. Tom will be missed deeply by his family and friends. He was a very humble man with much love and zest for life, a curious mind, and a constant thirst for knowledge. We love you and will miss you Papa, Dad and Tom. A memorial service was held at 3 p.m. Wednesday, Oct. 8, at the Second Presbyterian Church, 55th and Oak, KCMO. The family received friends from 5 to 7 Tuesday evening at the Kansas City Country Club, 6200 Indian Lane, Mission Hills, Kan. The Family requests any donations please be made to National Council on Alcoholism and Drug Dependence, KC Area, 633 E. 63rd St., Kansas City, MO 64110. Fond memories and condolences may be made at dwnewcomers.com. Arr.: Newcomer's Stine & McClure Funeral Home, (816) 931- 7777.

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